Doubt: To be uncertain about, or consider questionable or unlikely. To distrust. To fear or be apprehensive about. To hesitate to believe......To hesitate to believe.
Is that my problem? I'm not truly believing? I'm constantly analyzing, questioning and examining the situations I go through in life, and I'm constantly trying to figure out what direction God wants me to go. I'll think I have the answer, but then something will happen to make me doubt if this was the route God intended for me at all. I have always had the hardest time discerning God's voice, and I think a big part of my problem is because I doubt. I'll hear a voice or think some thoughts that are from God....but then after dwelling on them for a moment I begin to doubt and wonder if it was really God, or just my own thoughts coming through. I don't want to become one of those religious people that justify all their actions because they think God told them to do it....but then again, I don't want to be ignoring the things God is trying to tell me either.
THIS IS SO DIFFICULT.
I can imagine this is a bit what Thomas felt when he had first heard the news of Jesus' rising from the dead. Upon hearing the news he responded by saying, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails where, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." But that was smart of him right? We shouldn't believe everything we may hear...right? I mean Thomas was there, he saw Jesus beaten and crucified, surely he wasn't wrong in doubting.
But he was wrong.
Jesus himself said to Thomas, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." We use the term "Doubting Thomas" as a negative name for someone. But wouldn't we all have some sort of doubt if we were in Thomas' shoes? I know I definitely would.This is just why this topic is so hard for me to deal with......I feel like there's a fine line between this child-like faith that God desires for us, and being too trusting that we fall into Satan's schemes. UGH this is so frustrating for me because I'm so confused that I don't even know what to think. But what I do know is this: Life decisions are hard, and I have more doubt than I should. Lord please help me.
Dear Paige,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but feel I was reading a page out of my own life's journal. But it was just that..."a page"...oh yes, sometimes my "book" would flop open to THAT page again and I would get stuck until I remembered that it is the enemy's job to cause me to doubt. Once I acknowledged that he was wrecking havoc in my thought life, I submitted to the LORD of heaven and earth, resisted the devil and told him that according to God's promise to me, he HAD to flee in Jesus name. He did. Oh, yes, he did try to revisit my newly acquired turf once or twice, but God's WORD and His name has the power to slay the dragon of discontent and doubts that crop up in our lives. Yes, it is by FAITH in God, but that is even a gift. The enemy knew that I knew who Jesus was, is (and that He is to come.) I reminded him that he was a defeated foe (at the cross) and that I knew, based on the Word, that he HAD to flee...no ifs, ands or buts, about it. After challenging me several times, it is no longer an area the enemy can defeat me. Draw a blood-bought boundary around yourself, child of the Most High, and fight. Satan tested Eve in the same way, if I am understanding your thoughts rightly, he caused her to doubt God's word..."did God really say...?" Fight him with the sword of the Spirit :) precious one. Love you Paige and thanks for listening.