Pride.

There's a quote by Theodore Roosevelt that says, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Can I just say that I absolutely love this quote? I had it as the background image on my phone for several months as a daily reminder. Recently however, that quote has come to have a different meaning in my mind. You see, originally I saw this quote as a reminder to not compare myself to others that I see as better than myself. For instance, "I shouldn't feel bad if someone else is prettier, smarter, funnier, or nicer than I am. Comparing myself to them will just steal all my joy, because it will make me feel bad about myself." This is what I interpreted this quote to be saying, every time I unlocked my phone and saw those words lit up on my screen. But now I see it differently...I think I was missing a huge part of what this quote is really trying to express. No, we should not feel bad about ourselves, but I think Roosevelt may have been warning against something more damaging. I believe he may have been talking about pride.

 When I look at others, comparing and feeling bad about myself will steal happiness away from me....but it's when I'm comparing and being prideful of myself that my joy will be taken away. Do you see the difference there? Happiness and joy are completely different things. Happiness is a temporary feeling, whereas joy can be a lifestyle. Joy is more than just an emotion, it comes from the Lord. Pride steals joy by making us self-focused. It's so easy to get into the trap of thinking highly of ourselves, and not about the well-being of others. In Jesus' time, He spoke about a lot of topics that people struggled with...all of which we still struggle with today. One of my favorite parables that Jesus ever told, has do do with this very issue....Pride. 

In Luke 18, Jesus tells the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. He says, 

 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’  

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ 

 I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

You see, the Pharisee was prideful, which in turn made him unjustified before God. The man who was humble went home justified. The phrase, "Pride comes before the fall" wasn't created because it has a nice ring to it....it's the TRUTH! Being prideful of ourselves in comparison to others is damaging, and has absolutely no value to it. 

So how do we break from this self-centeredness? How do we move away from this prideful behavior and into a life of joy? The answer, I'm sorry to say, isn't an easy one... the answer is to learn humility. Humility is gained through practice as we grow in wisdom and in grace. It is achieved by being put into circumstances where you could be prideful, but you choose not to be. It is gained by taking a conscious effort to view others as better than ourselves. Humility is not something you're born with...it's a mindset that is learned through practice and God's grace.   

I know humility is a hard thing to accomplish, but all things are possible with God's help. This week, let's all ask God to show us which areas of our lives are filled with pride. Let's ask him to help us to not only overcome that pride, but also live a lifestyle full of humility. And finally, let's all remember those wise words from President Roosevelt....Comparison is the thief of joy.

Distorted Beauty.

I'm so fed up! 

Is anyone else out there sick and tired of caring about the way we look? I feel like this world is constantly bombarding us with the message that we are not good enough, and I'm so SICK of it. I keep hearing stories lately about girls and women with eating disorders....And being a college-aged girl living in a suite with 5 other girls, I can attest to being consumed with the standards of beauty at times.

Everyone has something they do not like about themselves. I think it's our nature to pick apart and criticize ourselves by comparing ourselves and our lives to everyone around us. Satan can use these weaknesses to his advantage. It leaves us feeling too ugly, too fat, too skinny, too pale, too shy, too poor, too damaged, too annoying… too anything… and not enough of something else that we think is so lovable about others.Thinking like this is so damaging! Damaging to ourselves, to those around us, and to the cause of Christ that we have been put here to accomplish.

Satan knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to distorting beauty. If Satan can get you to believe you aren't good enough, then you eventually will believe that you can't be used by God. He doesn’t want you to believe that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” He does not want you to find your worth in Jesus Christ, and allow Him to transform your heart to take on the beauty of Jesus. He does not want you believe that you were made for so much more. What Satan DOES want, is for you to believe your worth comes from the number on the scale. He knows that if He can get you to believe that your worth is found in anything but Christ, then you will be defeated in your Christian life. 

I say it is high time that we fight back. We are not summed up in one number on the scale. The pictures on the pages of the magazines have nothing on the pages of God’s word and who they say I truly am.

So easily we buy into the lie that the world has something “on us” and that we need to measure up to the standard it has set for us. We try to put a band-aid over these issues by telling ourselves and each other, “You are beautiful...and unique...and wonderful...and special all on your own.” But without God in the equation, those good feelings will eventually fade. Your worth does not come from the number on the scale, how your body looks today, what other people say about you, how many people check you out, how hot your boyfriend is, or what you do together. It doesn’t come from how many friends you have, how many “likes” your Facebook status gets or how many "retweets" you get on Twitter. It doesn’t come from your parents who never seem to be proud of you no matter what you do. It doesn’t come from your job, or your clothes, your spouse, or your kids. Your worth comes from the One who created you, and has already defined you. That's it. Nothing else gives you worth but this.

The world does not appreciate you for who you are. Most people do not recognize the worth that is found in you because you are a child of Jesus Christ. You are made in His image. Jesus Christ is so beautiful, and when we find our identity in Him alone, we are defined with HIS beauty. Is there anything more beautiful than Jesus? Nope, I pinky promise. Get to know Him, and you will know what I mean. 

 I am not special because of me…what I look like, my personality, who I am, how much money I have, or my performance in my job, school, or sports. However, I am special because of Jesus…..because of all the wonderful things that HE is, and because He lives inside of me and has complete control of my heart. 

You are God’s delight. 

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 

You are Confident. 

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrew 4:16 

You are the Child of God. 

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children." Romans 8:15-16 

You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. 

 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14 

You are Loved. 

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39 

When we embrace all of the names that our Father gives to us rather than the definitions of the world, we learn to see ourselves the way God does. God loves us beyond measure and looks on us with pride when we serve Him. In the next few days, lets take the time to focus on what God has to say about us, rather than the world. Lets be more than conquerors in Christ Nothing is impossible with Him!

Grandpa.

My heart is very heavy as I write this entry....my grandpa Ervin passed away earlier this week. The funeral is tomorrow, and it hasn't really felt real until today. He's gone. My grandpa was a wonderful, God-honoring man, and I'm so lucky to have had a grandpa like him. I have so many great memories of my grandpa....I remember spending the night at their house all the time when I was little, and he would always make me some microwave popcorn and a "chocolate malted" as he called it. He, my grandma and I would all share and watch TV together before bed. I remember always trying to convince him to let me sleep on the pull-out couch because for some reason, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I remember how he would always sit in the same chair at the dinner table to read his newspaper and go through the mail in the morning. And he always sat in his blue la-z-boy chair when we watched TV together. He told the best stories about Sparky, Baldy and Harry. Those three went on some crazy adventures in the bedtime stories he created for me. I remember the little things like helping him clean out the gazebo in the summertime, exploring the attic, and helping him grab things for grandma in the large downstairs freezer. I remember how he would point at me and holler "Be careful!" when I would drive the four-wheelers too fast in his backyard or at the hunting shack. I remember how one time we flipped a four-wheeler when I was younger and he didn't even care if the wheeler was okay or not, all he cared about was that I was fine. I remember how he was frequently humming hymns. I remember an amazing man.
Several years ago, my grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. He fought a long battle with Parkinson's, and eventually reached the point where he needed full time care in the nursing home. He got to the point where he couldn't carry on a conversation very easily and sat in a wheelchair. I thought I lost my grandpa a long time ago due to Parkinson's. This Christmas though, I was able to share a special moment with my grandpa again. I was helping my cousin Jens put up our grandparent's Christmas tree and other decorations. Jens went to go bring my grandma to the nursing home to see Grandpa, so I stayed back to finish decorating. Jens came back after a few minutes however, and said "Somebody is asking for you specifically at the nursing home." So I hopped into his Jeep and we headed over. After talking to my grandpa for a long time and getting little response, Jens and I decided to leave. I went to give him a hug, and to my surprise my grandpa actually lifted his left arm and hugged me back. It had been so long since he had actually hugged me back. With Parkinson's Disease, you have some good days and bad days. It's kind of a toss up on what you get. This day was the last time I was able to see my grandpa having good day. A hug may not seem like much to you, but it was huge for me.
If you don't know my grandpa at all, these stories probably mean little to nothing to you. But they mean so much to me. My grandpa, Ervin Clarence Boyum, was an absolutely amazing man. He was a rock for his family and he loved the Lord with all his heart. He had an unshakable faith that I look up to tremendously.
One of my favorite stories about my grandpa is about when I was born. Everyone came to the hospital, and right after I was born, before I was even cleaned up or anything, my Grandpa Ervin held me and then stole me into the waiting room to show me off to everyone else. He definitely wasn't supposed to do that at all....but he was so proud of his new granddaughter, that he didn't want to wait. The picture below is from that day.

I'm sad that my grandpa is gone, and this is a very difficult time. But I have so much joy in knowing that he is with the Lord right now! He no longer has to suffer from Parkinson's Disease now that he is in heaven. I can picture him in heaven, laughing his contagious laugh and singing hymns in praise to the One who is above all else. And I have even more joy in knowing that I will see him again someday! How awesome will it be, to someday sing praises to my Heavenly Father alongside my grandfather again. I am so thankful for the time I was able to have with my grandpa Ervin, and I'm excited for the day I will see this remarkable man again. 

I'm inserting a link to his obituary here, along with some more pictures of my grandpa's life.

(Grandpa Ervin and Grandma Muriel's Wedding)

(Back from Grandpa's days in the Army)

(In Arizona with my grandparents and my older brother & sister)

(Grandma and Grandpa were awarded "Valentine's Day King and Queen" of the nursing home)

(In the Nursing Home, after my graduation from RRCC)

(My grandparents were happily married for 62 years before my grandpa passed away)