"The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure...who can understand it?"
-Jeremiah 17:9
But even though this is the case, part of me feels like I should be happy all the time about studying. After all, it’s an honor right? I should be grateful, because not everyone gets this chance, right? Papers aren’t supposed to be like pulling teeth, right?
If you asked me right now what my favorite thing to do was, the first thing to come to mind is sitting in my sweatpants, watching a movie with my roommates, drinking tea and being lazy. But that sounds pretty lame... So instead, I would probably tell you how I like super ambitious and adventurous things like traveling and biking and how I sometimes like running. For some reason, I feel like even what I enjoy needs to measure up to some sort of standard.
Sometimes I feel like I need to be soaking in my 20's by staying single, traveling the world and trying exotic foods, while other times I feel like I need to be finding "the one" and establishing a family. Yet even other times, I feel like I should be out doing more missions work either in this country or another, and putting all my own ambitions aside.
And amidst all of these feelings, I also feel like I need to be accomplishing more little things…
Like running half-marathons,
taking really cool pictures,
reading more books,
cooking super awesome foods I found on Pinterest....
What the heck? Where do these “feel like” statements come from? To be honest, I think they come from other people. It's plain and simple. "Feel like" statements come from comparing ourselves to other people. It’s dangerous how we allow these lies to reign in the name of feelings. Being a college Sophomore, there are a lot of "feel like" statements that I feel the pressure from. There's this standard for our college experiences that we hold, instead of just letting our experience be our own unique experience.
Remember how 3rd grade was just 3rd grade? We showed up, learned some multiplication, hung out with our friends, and went home? We didn't dwell
on whether we were hanging out with enough people or our clothes were
fashionable enough. My main concern was keeping my new school shoes
clean, and what to bring for lunch. Oh, and I think my handwriting
was a big concern of mine back then too. We used to live life as it came to us each day, instead of contriving our reality. I
think we can all find some blame in social media. It really hasn't been a friend to
us by any means. It shows us everyone else's edited perfection under the disguise of every day life. It keeps us scrolling through people's lives
instead of engaging one another.
Social media a great scapegoat, but unfortunately for us, it is not the cause. Social media can't make us feel a certain way. We choose to allow ourselves to feel the way we do. I hear this phrase a lot: "but, I just feel like I should..." Friend, somedays I feel like I want to stay in bed all day. But, I get up. Sometimes I feel like I want to dye my hair purple. But, I remember that'd be a dumb thing to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm a failure. Sometimes I feel like I'm not smart, pretty, capable, going anywhere, making the right career choice... and a crap ton of other things.
The bottom line is this: feelings can lie. We read that in Jeremiah 17:9 when the prophet says that the heart is DECEITFUL above all things. Feelings are deceiving! Don't listen to them! Just because I don't FEEL like doing my homework, doesn't mean I shouldn't still be a good student. We cannot live off of what we feel like we ought to be doing. Otherwise, we let the world around us-- or the contrived reality of
Facebook & the whims of hormones-- define how we perceive our
lives.
Instead, we must choose Christ & trust His plan above our own.
